There is a sacredness in each relation that deserves respect. Integrity is what we have when we stand by our morals towards how we treat others when they are unaware. To honour another we must gauge as to how much we discuss a person and the reason why. When we are mindful of our intent to talk about others, we become more aware of what we are seeking or how we value the other person as ourselves.
Asking ourselves, what the intent is in order to talk about others. Firstly, comes as a pause to acknowledge the reason as to why we need to discuss them at all. Then we may see, that at times it may be for validation, or to create impact further as to our actions. Often times, it could be that this talking is just for the sake of being heard, and in this sense it may be a program of conditioning that has been commonplace just to talk about people. If you are not aware of this, then it may be a program that can be deterring you from further self awareness.
It is normal to talk briefly of others, talk highly of them or interactions we have shared and the commonality that we may have experienced or experience. This blog is for the purpose of raising awareness as to the types of conversations that may be affecting you or just a repetitive societal conditioning that you may have consumed. Our words are a powerful source of how we feel about ourselves, others and the world around us. When used in interactions, they are conveying a message to the listener as to how we are shaped and what kind of person we are. It is difficult when in a situation when others are constantly complaining or gossiping about other people, it is most certainly at times, a challenge to remain neutral. But when we do, we show others how we wish to be treated too and that we choose to stand strong in who we are by showing them that gossip is not what you will encourage. This leads to being an example as to the way you wish to be treated and sometimes, you may just be inspiring another, when you choose not to infuse into the discussion further. This may take a bit of practice, but if you are aware of how talking about others is affecting you or listening to the way other people speak, then you may be ready to know that you can divert the conversation and have your own peace of mind.
The best gauge is to ask yourself, if the person that you may be discussing were present, how much of an impact would this be to them. Are you coming from a neutral stand point of just stating an opinion or sharing to relate towards mutual understanding. Or could it be that you may be seeking some form of validation, self righteousness or infusing a certain amount of energy into an impact of what you feel for another. When we become aware of how and why we talk about other people, we clearly can relate to how we wish to be spoken about. But furthermore, we are empowering ourselves towards greater self understanding, in realising how our impact on another person may be. How our own self opinions, judgements and ideas may be effecting the way we view other people. This is but of course through an act of loving self kindness if this has not been realised before, and maybe you saw others behave the same way. It is through deeper understanding can we reach a point of knowledge that our words are powerful, influential and the way we speak of others creates a type of example to the listener.
To respect another, we must be aware of how we talk about them when they are not present. How do we convey our messages of our interactions with others. What is the intent of our discussion in the first place.
A famous quote in relation to this is..”Before you speak, let your words pass through three gates: “Is it true?” “Is it necessary?” “Is it kind?”
But most of all, is it from a neutral zone of non judgement, blame or any other form of self lacking. When we talk from neutrality we become humbled to honour the other person as ourselves.