Being strong in assurity of the vision you have to live your life from a more powerful approach for yourself comes with each step that will build the momentum.
You may encounter narcissistic types that you know you require to release from your life or at least draw the line with a stance of ‘hey, that is enough’ or ‘I will no longer tolerate being spoken to like that’ or something along those lines..whatever you feel needs to be done for you to ‘show up’ in your new found approach to living your life aligned with YOUR Truth. This line does not need to always be spoken, it is rather an acknowledgement for yourself that you make, in the essence of knowledge of what you will and will not allow any further. It is your line that you are drawing, your boundary and you are the director of what you allow to play out in your life with others.
The strong projector can come in many forms and varying degrees of impact towards others. Generally, they are identified, by what is called Narcissistic, however this is not limited to the traits of what is described in the psychology world. On a deeper level you may understand that the ‘strong projector’ is a person with the formation of the Ego at the forefront of their lives and actions. Many times they are disconnected consciously from their hearts guidance and further more, blocked to their own devices. Their impact can be quite profound, extremely intricate and forthright in their approach to project against ALL inner guidance. With compassion as I will mention further in this blog, you may understand deeper as to the way they treat themselves is harsher than anything else they will ever do towards others. However, and this is the big indicator, you do not need to enable or allow this behaviour to affect your life.
Speaking of narcissistic types who may have dominated your direction to some effect or controlled, ridiculed or even snuffed out your light many times. These are often the big personalities in your life that cause the most anguish, most people have encountered this type of person and have a varying degree of experience with interacting. Some have family members or close relations that have dominated their lives for many years, others may just experience these types for a brief period, say for example, a boss or work colleague, however, once you have met this interaction, you will be able to relate to the feeling of the encounter.
It is sensitive people, that these controlling people seek out, the ones they feel are easier targets to be manipulated and you may be a softer personality that has met the harsh personality traits of an individual that has twisted you until you feel you have nothing left. This can leave you feeling crazy, completely drained, confused and even more unsure of yourself. Heck, they may have even told you, that you are crazy, different, broken and useless. I am here to tell you that if you have experienced this extremity of the Ego, they only dislike in you what they dislike in themselves. So if you are sensitive, the other may dislike or have snuffed out a part, often times the same part of themselves and have at sometime, generally in childhood, suppressed their own sensitive nature. And this may have been done to such a degree, that they no longer feel apathy, empathy or little compassion. Although, just in the trickery that this personality can hold, they may play that they care, that they are compassionate, but this can be for show and truly may be that they are looking to gain fulfilment by taking from others.
With your genuine compassionate qualities, you may even view that they are inflicting pain on themselves much more than anyone else in their life. It, or rather their attitude towards you, has and will never be about you sweet heart. Take this in to your consciousness and realise, if you wish, to see this understanding as you work towards no longer tolerating this extreme behaviour to control you or your life.
Freeing up the space to release this personality type from any hold over you, is by setting clear guidelines within yourself, with what may be a ‘strong projector’. It may not be easy and often times is of greatest of tests, however, it is most achievable and completely liberating, even self expanding and may leave you further smiling from the inside out.
There is not always a requirement to confront a person with this personality disorder, however, you may gauge your responses about how you firstly feel in the presence of the other, what is going on inside of yourself when you encounter this interacting? Allowing the feeling to come to the surface, but not letting it consume you, is just bearing witness to yourself and the workings of life. So, maybe you can recall the sensation that arises in your bodies response, even your thoughts may become lost or wild with unworthiness at the very thought or reminders of prior interactions. Now is a good time to just acknowledge this presence and honour yourself by admitting this is how you feel.
You may be in a better position to sense how you can establish a firm boundary for yourself and how much you will enable this person to affect your sense of self worth. Because often times, this particular circumstance, disables your own power and sense of self worth to grow and be nurtured. Narcissistic traits or the forceful, demanding, manipulating and controlling people in life are energetically ‘draining’ the other and impacting on your sense of self that can be affected the most. And this is where you can take a stand to honour yourself now to be true with the other person but not in an argumentative way, as this is what they may want the most. To know that they affect you, dis-empower or leave you feeling useless actually fulfils them. As harsh as this sounds, there is also much compassion that you can offer, and not always through words, but rather, you in your own understanding of why they behave in such a way.
This is a brief description and blog in regards to how intricate, complex and varied the experiences are of the interrelations with others and self that a whole book can be written on this one discussion. However, this is just to assist with anyone experiencing this form of extreme disablement due to the projecting Ego. Thank goodness that this type of personality is a minority and that most hearts wish to be peaceful and have interactions that are well balanced.
Let’s look at an example for further understanding and of course this may not relate to you however just gauging further understanding of these traits and the experiences of interactions with people, may broaden your own perspective of life’s relationships and yourself. Just say, you have someone in your life that presents as having extreme control over you, your life, your happiness and has left you feeling completely depleted at times. She/he needs to talk to you constantly, more than you wish and needs you to be attentive each time they choose, not respecting your life or choices. Maybe the next time you interact or take that phone call, you may decide to speak up a little for yourself. You will feel what is best for the situation, however, as a suggestion, you may take that step to say ‘no’ to the constant requests or say you are busy with no explanation. There is no need to fight or justify, as you can recall that is what may fuel this particular strain of the ego’s contempt. Big warning here, is that the other person may project further out at you, laugh at or make you feel crazy or anything else (as this may be a rather unpredictable person in some sense), this may be their last ditch attempt at dis-empowering you. Do not let this concern you or waiver in your belief or righteous stance within yourself.
You may at first feel a moment of uncertainty or confusion, although if you have been honest with yourself and taken that stand, you can also gauge that you may feel a little renewed as well. Your strength will build each time you take this loving approach for you, each time you speak your voice and align with your Truth.
Keep the faith that things will become brighter. You are not here to fulfil the needs of another lack of self worth. You are more powerful, worthy and amazing than what has been taught, learnt and conditioned. Be free to own your worth, your own power centre.
**I am going to write a brief note here to the heavily ingrained Ego aspect that may be causing much suffering towards others either consciously or unconsciously, directly or indirectly (a minority of humanity)
I know you too may have experienced this form of dis-empowerment from another, maybe you witnessed your own parents behave in this way to you, maybe you have felt like you had no voice. You may have been conditioned then to know no other way other than to inflict your own pain or suffering onto another. I am sorry you have experienced this pain and I know that you too can be of assistance towards yourself now as you change the need to fulfil yourself in this way. Is it not time for you to admit to yourself of the suffering you may feel and may have been inflicted onto others. You may remember now that you too have a further choice to recall how you felt when you may have experienced this. It is okay, you can find your way to free up the space inside yourself to establish new ways for you to approach and not hang on so tight to the grip of others. It is in acknowledging how you are feeling and how you may be behaving that will assist you too to feel better about yourself. Maybe the next time you have an interaction that you normally may feel less than another if the person does not respond to you in the way you need, then you can pause for a moment to allow that person to have their own feelings/opinion. Maybe you need to be accepted by having others agree with you all the time. Remember you are no less than another just because they have not fulfilled you with their agreeing with your words/actions. You may, if you are honest with yourself, feel you are going against your own truth in continuing to deplete anyone else from your own unexpressed pain or other emotion. Do you sense how much you may crave to show your own heart, kindness and love towards others but may have denied this in you too by blocking off your hearts worth. The pain you may inflict upon another may cause you much anguish. In order for you to heal, you must view this in honesty with yourself and acknowledge the hurt inside. In your honest approach you may realise that releasing this pain can begin the conscious effort to understand and relate to others with compassion and in doing so, you will be liberating your own heart towards healing too.**