No one has the right to demand anything and I do mean, Anything from you. In fact, you have the right to refuse, the right to say no I don’t think so, the right to dispute their lack of care for you. You don’t need to get into an argument or justify yourself, just realise how you enable this to take place, without maybe even being aware, and then you too, have the choice to now take the step to care enough about your own sanity, peace and wellbeing and say the two letter word clearly. Yes, it’s scary to try something new, to speak what your heart feels is best for you, but the gain will be immense. No is stated clearly, honestly and with no intent to start a war. Just come in with intention to stand by your inner knowing to create a stronger connection to your own truth within.
You know what this feels like as it’s quite often when you feel drained time and time again from the one person or many that may be continually demanding of you. Or maybe you will understand that this relationship is one sided, never has this person given equally in respect to appreciate you. Hell, they may not show any form of acknowledgement of your feelings at all. But they will notice you if you don’t meet their needs!
The only people that can be demanding are little ones that we are responsible for, our children, especially when they are young and require their needs met. They haven’t yet learnt to support their basic needs, both emotional and physical as well as psychological of course. And as they grow, we are here to show them how we respect ourselves and lead by example. Just to touch on this briefly, as not to stray from the more difficult situations/people that are truly demanding, as children grow up into teenage years, we can then guide them as role models to be honest when we cannot meet their requests and show the example of self care. Being open in discussions by stating you need a rest, to take a drive, go for coffee with a friend or any other outlet, instead of feeling consumed by overwhelmed demands on you, you will come back to them and be able to fully be present to meet what they require. They will see how you support yourself, how you care for them by giving to you too and parenting won’t be such a rough time. Balancing out our own needs with our children’s is crucial for a more stable, harmonious parenting experience.
Back to the depth of this blog is to understand that the hardest most challenging part of being honest with yourself to take the stand for what you feel, can be the first time you speak up, especially if this has gone on for quite some time. Mostly this person has grown accustomed to you just automatically appeasing them. However, there are some people that have not intended or realised that you feel this way or that haven’t noticed their own actions and behaviour. Given the variety of people, situations and circumstance, the person may respond with an apology or empathy at how you feel. On the other scale, another person may be angered at you taking a stance to alter the way you wish to be treated. Maybe this person has felt better about themselves by keeping you at their whim and so they may be triggered to react with a smirk, or by making you feel guilty, less than or selfish. However, if you truly honestly feel that you are at a brink with being an object to someone else’s unfulfilled inner needs, then your inner knowing will feel it’s your time to shine. Shine that authentic heart for you, no one else can do that but you. You are the one that goes to sleep with your head and heart at night. The one that may be feeling anguish, despair and hopelessness. So then your the only one that can truly be honest with yourself that you can take assertive steps to set clear boundaries for your self care.
If and when the time comes for the next interaction, remember that you may need to offer yourself some encouraging words. Just think of what you would say to a good friend that was struggling with this. Give those beautiful encouraging supportive words to yourself. Why are you any different or less worthy of your own loving intent? That’s right, there is no reason to not give yourself the support you require. Big deal if you don’t see it through the first time. There is no need to banish yourself. This is another choice to lift yourself up again and thank the inner you for trying, for being brave enough to even acknowledge the existence of how you really feel and continue on. In time, if you use that inner guidance, that beautiful heart full approach, your building a stability of support inside so much so that you will have the inner strength to set clear actions with others with what you will and won’t put up with any longer. Sometimes this will be shown, not in so many words, but just by the way you hold yourself in a more stronger, stable embrace.
with love,
Sariah
Sariah Sistar 